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The Challenge: Nelson Thomas’ Funniest Quotes, Ranked

Nelson Thomas made his Challenge debut on Rivals 3. He didn't make a splash and was sent packing after 5 episodes. When Thomas came back for Invasion of the Champions, he made it to the final and lost to winner CT by a mere 2 minutes and 22 seconds. Through this and winning 3 eliminations, he established himself as a potential Challenge champ going forward.

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In the subsequent seasons he has appeared in, it's become apparent that Thomas' physical strengths are his key to the game, but he occasionally puts his foot in his mouth. This has lead to some hilarious moments in puzzles and trivia challenges as well as in his talking heads. Whether audiences love or hate Thomas' gameplay, there's no denying that he's made everyone laugh with his unintentionally hilarious "Nelsonisms". Here are his funniest quotes, of the 2018th century so far, ranked.

9 "The way he condoned himself last night"

After being one of the winner's of the Pirate's Treasure challenge in XXX: Dirty Thirty, Nelson was faced with deciding which male and female he would vote into the Presidio. The male vote was an easy choice when Jordan upset the house by offending fellow contestant Jemmye the night before. Nelson saw an opportunity to keep his friend and ally Cory safe from elimination.

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Despite the seriousness of the situation, Nelson caused some unintentional levity when pleading his case against Jordan using the word "condone" instead of "conduct." He urged the others to vote Jordan in "especially after the way he condoned himself last night" multiple times, resulting in Jordan being voted into the Presidio and giving audiences another solid Nelsonism.

8 "Subjects I am not good at"

During the first leg of the Invasion final, Nelson was immediately faced with swimming and a puzzle, two of his biggest weaknesses in a challenge. Upon finally emerging from the water and seeing the triangular puzzle (counting the total triangles, dividing by 3 and multiplying by 12) Nelson's talking head gave viewers insight to what was running through his mind: "This has to deal with a triangle, math, and division. All subjects I am NOT good at people!"

Fortunately for Nelson, he was paired with Ashley who (with her apparent expertise in triangles, math, and division) managed to solve the puzzle single-handedly. This put the pair in second place, leaving behind their more triangularly impaired competitors Cory and Nicole.

7 "50/50"

Trivia is always a highly anticipated daily challenge for fans of the show. There's guaranteed laughs as Challenge contestants fumble over easy questions and get punished accordingly by host T.J. Lavin. Pairing Nelson with a trivia challenge is a reliable formula for the purest of Nelsonisms.

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In Total Madness' trivia challenge, the participating contestants got a leg up with a multiple choice format allowing them to choose between 3 answers. Nelson expressed his excitement at the prospect, saying in a talking head: "I love multiple choice! Because it's a 50/50 chance I could win." Offscreen, a producer reminds him that there's 3 answers to choose from. Another honorable mention for trivia-based Nelsonisms came in Dirty Thirty when Veronica was asked to name the capital of Texas. Despite his being from there being the basis for the question, Nelson still got the answer wrong, guessing San Antonio instead of Austin.

6 "When I grow up"

Even when Nelson's tendency to cross social lines or not excelling in daily challenges gets him thrown into eliminations, he consistently proves his worth as a competitor. In Dirty 30, Nelson beefed up his elimination record when he defeated Hunter, after they were both thrown in by competitors attempting to cannibalize their Young Buck alliance.

The bittersweet moment was equally heartfelt and hilarious with Nelson having some kind words for his competitor: "That guy's one of the realest guys I've ever met in my life. He holds his head up proud, who he is as a man...that's who I wanna be when I grow up." More hardcore Challenge fans were quick to identify the Nelsonism here. Nelson is 4 1/2 years older than Hunter, which turned the well-intentioned sentiment into another amusing quote that Nelson is remembered by.

5 "It's not the bark of the dog"

In the challenge before the Invasion of the Champions final, the remaining four underdogs felt confident in their chances of beating the champs. In a joint talking head they boasted of their chances of winning and Nelson attempted to quote Mark Twain's "size of the dog, fight in the dog" expression.

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He nailed it: "It's not the bark in the dog, it's the dog in the bark-"...okay, he didn't. At all. But it made his teammates and viewers at home laugh. Plus, the challenge wasn't trivia based so the Underdogs managed to snag another win.

4 "The Ordacity"

Fans of Nelson were looking forward to more Nelsonisms after his 2-season absence from the challenge. He didn't disappoint upon his return to Total Madness. During one of the first few house votes for eliminations, Kailah and Jenna both put his name forward.

Outraged, Nelson vented about the "ordacity" of those girls. It was the conduct/condone situation all over again. Except with audacity. Which was even better because it wasn't even a switching of words, it was a whole new one.

3 "Holes and Keys"

In Final Reckoning, Nelson and his partner Shane won 2 eliminations against some of their biggest rivals of the season. They were called into their second elimination by Cara Maria and Marie, managing to beat them in an elimination requiring punching holes in walls to find a lockbox.

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Upon their win, Nelson's victory speech was filled with a lot more double entendres than expected. He told the camera: "He yelled my name, he got to the box. He put his key in, I put my key in, and it felt amazing to go through those holes. And ring that bell." Shane made the moment even better, adding, "...'Cause we like holes."

2 "Living in the 2018th Century"

Throughout the years, the Challenge house has incorporated current tech when delivering clues and messages to challengers. Final Reckoning was one such season, with the house getting a message from T.J. Lavin via FaceTime.

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In a talking head, Nelson narrated the moment saying, "T.J. Facetimed us! We're living in the 2018th century people! This is crazy, we've never done this before, it's kinda cool." This Nelsonism pretty much speaks for itself.

1 "Needy Greedy"

Unless he out-Nelsons himself on a future season, Nelson's "needy greedy" quote will probably be the most memorable of his Challenge career. First said in Final Reckoning, his partner Shane couldn't even keep a straight face when Nelson says "we're coming down to the needy greedy," instead of "nitty gritty" while they deliberated on who they were voting into elimination.

Nelson himself is aware of this Nelsonism, referencing it during a challenge in Total Madness, saying in a team talking head: "We're getting down to the needy greedy, people!" Never change Nelson, never change.

NEXT: The Challenge: 10 Behind-The-Scenes Facts You Never Knew 



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The Challenge: Nelson Thomas’ Funniest Quotes, Ranked The Challenge: Nelson Thomas’ Funniest Quotes, Ranked Reviewed by Riyad on August 19, 2020 Rating: 5

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