Ted has a few serious relationships over the course of How I Met Your Mother, and his time with Zoey definitely ranks among them, even if they were enemies, then friends, then romantic together. Zoey is inextricably tied up with Ted's time working on the new GNB headquarters (an absolutely massive deal for him), as she opposed him every step of the way... and yet he still fell for her.
Maybe it's not too much of a surprise, as Ted is famous for making really bad relationship decisions anyway! But fans of the show knew from the start that these two would never be a match. Maybe there was some doubt that first night when they met looking up at the Arcadian, or when they shared their first kiss, but all the red flags were there.
10 She Was Too Much Of A Rule-Breaker
When Ted first meets Zoey, it's quickly revealed that she devotes almost all her time to activism, and a huge variety of causes. The Arcadian is one of many fights she is involved in, and she is happy to break all kinds of rules and laws for the things she believes in, with an impressive arrest record to her name. For some people, this would be a green flag, and her passion and desire to make the world better is laudable. But Ted is a stickler for the rules, and he would never really mesh with someone he would have to bail out of jail.
9 She Was Married When They Met
Zoey wasn't just 'technically married, in an open marriage, married-but-separated, or any of the other variants on 'married' that sitcoms and rom-coms like to use to complicate things. She was still married in the strictest sense, and this was going to be a problem. Not that it would be impossible for Zoey to leave (she later does, before she and Ted get together), but Ted reveals in the show that he has felt obligated to stay with someone more than once, and someone leaving their husband in part for him? Huge obligation, and an imbalance that would be hard to correct.
8 They Didn't Have Enough In Common
At various points in their relationship, it is shown that Ted and Zoey have a little in common - they both enjoy going to galleries, for one thing, and they both have fun together at Maclaren's... but there doesn't seem to be a huge amount beyond that.
It may simply be that the show didn't have a lot of space to show just how much they did together, or that (to be fair), it often seemed that Ted didn't have hobbies beyond watching Star Wars, drinking at the pub, and working. Still, it didn't seem like enough to build a relationship on.
7 She Could Be Surprisingly Violent
Zoey called herself passionate, but she made some pretty violent threats, at times, and didn't seem to have a great level of emotional control, either. When protesting against his building, she threatened to key his car. When she invited the gang over for Thanksgiving, she later freaked out, started yelling at them and kicked them all out. She may not have been shown being physically violent in the show, but there were definitely some worrying indications of a bad temper.
6 He Couldn't Trust Her
Zoey is, no doubt about it, a liar. She lies about being upset at the museum party to trick him into saying something incriminating, then lies about deleting the recording. She doesn't directly lie about being married, but she definitely omits it, for a while, as well as her finances and circumstances. She lies about why she wants to save the Arcadian. She plays dirty, uses underhanded tactics, and behaves spitefully in trying to get her own way. Even if she and Ted got together and got over the Arcadian issue, he would never be able to fully trust someone who was always being dishonest.
5 She Has No Respect For His Work
While it's easy to sympathize with Zoey wanting to save the Arcadian when it means so much to her, she has absolutely zero respect for Ted's work, and is willing to really damage his career over this issue. She doesn't just protest, either. She gets involved in his university class, damages his standing as a professor, and convinces his students to not come to class, risking their own grades. Not a good sign for the future.
4 He Won't Compromise For Her
The issues are far from all on Zoey's side, too. Ted also tells his fair share of lies, right from the start when he learns that Zoey wants to save the Arcadian (when he wants to tear it down). He also refuses to compromise for her, even after learning why the building is so important to her.
At one point, he created a design to incorporate the original and the new buildings, but then decided not to go with it, even though it would have worked, been a better move to stop protests, and potentially saved the relationship.
3 They Insult Each Other
This isn't limited to Ted and Zoey, of course - most of the characters in How I Met Your Mother hurl insults when they argue, because it makes for a funnier scene. However, it's not healthy for people in a relationship to actually use the kind of language that these two do when they are angry at each other. Disagreeing is one thing. Name calling is completely different.
2 They Fought From The Start...
Of course, the reason that they were always insulting each other is that they were fighting from the start - but it wasn't just about the Arcadian. It was about lies told, it was about Zoey 'playing activist' while being hugely wealthy herself (which begs the question of why she didn't just buy the Arcadian in the first place, but that's unrelated), it was about how they interacted, it was absolutely everything. Right from the start, they were always at each other's throats, and even in the relationship, they argued all the time.
1 She Is Far Too Childish
While Ted is far from perfect (as every fan of the series knows), Zoey is, in many ways, much worse. She's dishonest, but also sulky, petty, spiteful, and throws tantrums when she doesn't get her way. When Ted refuses to sacrifice his professional integrity and the biggest achievement of his career for her nostalgia, she storms out of the room, and their relationship is over.
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