Even the biggest fans of Sex and the City can admit that Carrie Bradshaw is an unlikeable character at times. She’s selfish and inconsiderate, often saying and doing things that hurt her three closest friends. And while she makes a living writing about the mistakes made by the men in her life, she won’t be up for girlfriend of the year award any time soon either.
In her major relationships with Big, Aidan Shaw, and Aleksandr Petrovsky, Carrie does things that are annoying at best, problematic and harmful at worst. Check out these 10 times when Carrie was a terrible girlfriend.
10 When She Cheated On Aidan
Carrie does a lot of questionable things during the show’s run, but most fans agree that her single biggest mistake is cheating on Aidan with Big. Not everyone believes that Aidan is the perfect boyfriend, but even if that is true, it doesn’t excuse Carrie from cheating on him.
Not only does Carrie break Aidan’s heart by cheating on him with Big, but she’s also involved in hurting Big’s wife, Natasha. Even though she ended up with Big, up until this point, he had only proven to be emotionally unavailable and unappreciative of her, offering nothing more than just physical chemistry. Terrible decision, Carrie.
9 When She Forced Aidan To Forgive Her
It’s bad enough that Carrie cheats on Aidan, but the way she deals with the aftermath is even more problematic. Even though her and Big’s actions cause pain for Aidan and Natasha, Carrie only worries about herself. Her biggest problem is the guilt she’s struggling with, not the heartache she’s caused for other people.
When she gets back with Aidan, Carrie cries that he has to forgive her and is frustrated with him for still holding onto the past. You’d think that, as the person who did the cheating, she’d be more understanding and patient.
8 When She Couldn’t Even Pretend To Like The Country
The affair isn’t the only horrible thing that Carrie does to Aidan. The saga with his country house also shows how selfish Carrie can be as a person and as a girlfriend.
Negotiation is part of every healthy relationship. Sometimes, someone has to do things they don’t really want to because they are important to their partner. Rather than being supportive of Aidan, Carrie complains the whole time she’s there and bangs his cooking utensils around when her anger boils over. The house is important to him. At the very least, she could feign interest.
7 When She Snuck To Church Just To Spy On Big & His Mom
If the roles were reversed in this scenario, it would be a serious red flag. A man who follows his girlfriend to church after she specifically tells him that she wants to go alone just so he can spy on her and her mother would be problematic. And to be honest, it’s also problematic when Carrie does it.
To be fair, Big does keep Carrie at a distance, which is frustrating. But the way to deal with it is to bring up these issues with him and explain how she feels, not follow him around and challenge the boundaries he sets.
6 When She Threw McDonald’s In Big’s Apartment
Carrie proves on more than one occasion that she doesn’t have much control over her temper. The most notable Carrie tantrum takes place in Big’s apartment when she finds out he’s going to Paris indefinitely and throws the McDonald’s at his wall.
Throwing things around in anger, even if it’s fast food, is still a kind of abuse. If the roles were reversed and Big was slamming things around in a fit of rage because Carrie announced she was going on a work trip, there would be uproar. Her frustration is understandable, but this wasn’t the way to deal with it — especially when Big makes it perfectly clear that he’s got major commitment issues time and time again.
5 When She Abandoned Big At His Upper Society Party
Relationships are about compromise, so most couples will inevitably have to go places they don’t want to and meet people they don’t like for the sake of their partner. Carrie doesn’t seem to handle this part of being in a relationship very well, getting fed up with Big at the high-society party that he takes her to in "The Caste System."
Carrie leaves the party with Jeremiah and abandons Big, only for him to call her in the morning to tell her that he loves her.
4 When She Got Frustrated With Aidan For Not Wanting To Sleep With Her
Carrie’s relationship problems with Aidan are evident right from the beginning. She gets frustrated with him for not wanting to sleep with her straight away, slamming the door in his face when he tells her he doesn’t want to stay over at her place.
Again, take a second to imagine what would happen if the shoe was on the other foot. If Carrie wasn’t ready to sleep with a man and he got frustrated enough to close a door in her face, it wouldn’t be considered okay. And it’s not okay when she does it to Aidan.
3 When She Wouldn’t Wear The Engagement Ring
Carrie and Aidan are just too different for their relationship to have ever worked. Aidan wants marriage and children, while Carrie seems to be a commitment-phobe with everyone except Big, who is the ultimate commitment-phobe.
Accepting his marriage proposal is another mistake that Carrie makes. It’s also one that she should foresee, given the strong reaction she has when she first sees the ring. But not wearing the ring on her finger because “it’s closer to her heart” on a necklace is a slap in the face to Aidan.
2 When She Constantly Lost Her Temper With Aidan
There are many points throughout Carrie and Aidan’s relationship where she gets unreasonably frustrated with him and snaps at him. Of course, everyone has moments where they get fed up and say things they don’t mean, but Carrie seems to constantly take Aidan for granted.
A memorable example is when Aidan accompanies Carrie to get her laptop fixed and then buys her a new one. She snaps at him throughout the entire episode even though he’s only trying to help.
1 When She Barged In On Aleksandr Working
Aleksandr Petrovsky is far from an ideal boyfriend, especially when he slaps Carrie in Paris. Like Big, he’s very clear about what he wants from the relationship and what his boundaries are. Carrie knows he’s a workaholic but acts surprised when he is focused on his work when they arrive in Paris.
Back in New York, Petrovsky tells Carrie that he’s too busy working to meet her friends. Completely disregarding his needs and feelings, she barges over to his apartment anyway, forcing him to meet her friends even when he’s knee-deep in stressful work.
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